ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
