I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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