Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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