I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
