At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
