They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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