That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
