He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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