I heard we made out
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
