I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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