Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
