i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
