elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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