so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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