I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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