Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
