If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
