Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
