the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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