Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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