I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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