Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
