I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
