drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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