brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
