I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
