if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
