explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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