Welp...herpes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
