bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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