I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
