An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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