My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize