So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I can text with my tongue
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
