I'm so fucking centered right now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
