he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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