i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize