Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
