We're facebook friends in real life
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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