i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
