Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
