i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
