There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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