You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
