I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
