Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
