I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
