a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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