You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
