So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
