why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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