I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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