It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize