is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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