No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
