I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
