Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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