I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
