I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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