Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
