im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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