Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
