Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
