This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
