garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
