Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
