Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
