i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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