You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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